For the Fallen

It seems like lay-offs are an inevitability in game development these days. I personally have never worked for a company that hasn’t had to deal with them as part of the reality of this business. In my experience there are two simple reasons why this is a fact: 1) Every year it seems to take more and more money to make the kind of triple-A entertainment the public demands and 2) It takes more people to finish a project than it does to maintain one after launch or to pre-produce the next, meaning that at some point you're going to have more people than you have actual work. While the cold, hard facts may add up to logic in the end it doesn't change how much it sucks for everyone involved. 

In the grand scope of things It wasn't so long ago that I found myself on the losing end of the lay-off equation. It was late April, 2001 and I had been working for Turbine Entertainment in Norwood, MA for almost 3 months. I had spent the previous 2 years both finishing my film degree at the Massachusetts College of Art and working via the internet for then fledgling Crytek Studios on a project that would ultimately never see the light of day. With my “If we ever make any money you get significant royalties” contract for Crytek running out that February and the future still uncertain for them, I decided to go the route of my buddy Scott (who is currently a big deal art guy at Bungie) and try to find a real game development job. Scott had landed a gig at Turbine a few months after graduation and he let me know that they were looking for designers. To make a long story short, I applied for an entry-level design position on Asheron’s Call 2 and somehow (thanks a lot to Scott, a lot to my future lead, and a little bit to luck) landed it.

There was no formal training program at Turbine at that time, my lead was INCREDIBLY busy and maybe just a little bit in over her head and I didn’t know who/how to ask for help, so I spent quite a bit of time familiarizing myself with docs and teaching myself the AC1 tools. You see, we were so early in development on AC2 that our tools were virtually non-existent. Heck, I can still remember the day we got a flat, featureless world running in a server-based version of the engine for the first time. During my brief time at Turbine I did what I was told and I did it well (or so they told me) and I even took the new Lugian player race under my wing and developed a sprawling pre-Asheron’s Call 1 backstory for them. And even though they only kept about 0.1% of the material I wrote in the final game, I’m still rather proud of it.

The sad fact of the matter is that the Turbine I had joined at that point in 2001 was in a bit of a pickle. At the time AC1 (and AC2) were still under the watchful eye of Microsoft and while I wasn’t there long enough to grasp the nuance of the situation, I understood that it was no fun. About 1.5 months into my employment, Turbine ousted its current CEO and installed a new one; someone who I will not name, but I think most people who had to deal with him would agree was an ass and while I suppose at the time it seemed like the right move, time makes fools of us all. To round out this cul-de-sac of kismet, Tubine had been working on a project that would have been a PS2 MMO, but due to a number of circumstances had to cancel the development.

This all brings us to the aforementioned late April in 2001. I was almost 3 months into my first paying game development job and I was finally feel like I was getting the hang of it and really starting to contribute. That morning, my lead grabbed me shortly after I arrived and told me she needed me in a meeting. This wasn’t entirely unexpected because, even though I had only been there a short time, I knew that impromptu meetings often sprung up and as one of only 4 designers dedicated to AC2 at the time I might be needed. I entered our largest meeting room and took a seat around the rectangular arrangement of tables with a bunch of other people. Once everyone was seated and the doors were closed we were told that everyone in the room was being laid off. I can remember feeling like the blood had completely drained from my head. The last thing I expected that morning was to come into work, only to leave with a box of my belongings and a severance package. In fact it had been only a week or two before that my carpool buddy had remarked (on the cancellation of the PS2 project) that “at any other company those people would be out of jobs right now.”

As the lay-off meeting proceeded there was a short explanation of Turbine’s financial situation and why the lay-offs were necessary. I don’t remember the details, but it all amounted to something along the lines of: if they didn’t get rid of people by that June, they’d be out of money. We all waited in that conference room watched over by our leads and senior staff while they called a couple people at a time to speak with HR and to sign the severance paperwork. I can remember one of the senior people - a producer maybe - asking me what was going through my head. I can only assume that the question was raised due to my looking as shocked as I felt at the time. I remember saying something about trying to recall my personal philosophy, which is the kind of dumb thing a 22 year old, idealistic kid says in a situation like that. Incidentally the philosophy I was trying to recall was “What is, is”, which any decent X-Men fan will recognize as the prime tenet of the Clan Askani. Anyway, eventually my time came and I went through the HR process, cleaned out my desk, went to lunch with a bunch of people from work and then went home. I had spent half my life to that point dreaming of making games and had even spent 2 years doing it with no recognition or pay and then less than 3 months after landing my first paying, professional gig … I was let go.

They told me they would try to get me back, but as an older, smarter, and much more in the loop person now at the age of 33, I realize that this had been a pipe dream at best. My former lead did try to set me up with another local company, but the interview went badly (my own damn fault really) and nothing came of it. I spent the rest of the summer trying to get my portfolio together. MMO’s were fine, but at the time it was a 3 dog race and I had just gotten cut from the guys bringing up the rear. I figured I needed to re-dedicate myself to getting into FPS development, which is what I had been doing for Crytek. I ended up wasting about 2 years in that direction before turning back to RPG’s, but this time for writing, yet another wrong move.

During the next few years I moved back to Connecticut to live with my parents and then back to Boston, all the while spending too much time trying to get a so-called portfolio together than applying for development jobs. Eventually by the time 2006 rolled around I knew it was time to get serious. The previous summer I had been disavowed of any notion that I had the chops at the time to write dialogue for games and eventually refocused my efforts to what I was actually good at: quests and game design. I worked up a slick Neverwinter Nights Mod to use as a portfolio piece, spent some money to have my resume professionally done, and that summer I sent out a shotgun blast of applications. It worked and 6 years later I’m in Austin working for a developer I idolize and alongside the best people in this industry.

To make a long story short: I got myself a job in game development right out of college, got laid off, and took the long way to break back in. The point is that even though I only had 3 months of actual professional experience on my resume and even though I had never shipped a title, I was able to prove myself as someone worth hiring and within a year of my return to game development I was leading a team and I’ve never looked back since.

It’s easy to blame your publisher, your studio, your fellow devs, the fans, yourself or anyone else for getting laid-off. I’ve seen my fair share of people let go both in person at studios I’ve worked at and peripherally via friends at other locations and you can spend a lot of time looking for someone to blame. In the end it’s just how things work at this point in time. Even at a studio and on a project that is doing well, it is often the price of doing business. The thing to remember is that getting laid off is not the end. It sucks, but it’s not the end and for those of you who find yourselves divorced from their former jobs right now, you owe it to yourselves not to give up hope. If there's one thing I know it's that game developers are a community and when we get hit by hard times we tend to band together. If I can give any advice it would be this: don't hesitate to get your resume out there. If someone is hiring you should be applying. My other advice would be to not be afraid or hesitant about relying on your friends and former teammates. It's at times like this that I like to recall the following:

This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, “Hey you, can you help me out?” The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up “Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?” The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a friend walks by. “Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?” And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.’ The friend says, “Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out”¹

I know the instinct a lot of people have in these situations is to just quit games altogether and for some, maybe that’s the right call. For me, it was never an option and for those of your who lost your jobs today, for my friends here and elsewhere, know that I will do whatever is in my power in order to help you find a new job in game development. I will be your reference, your advocate, and your friend; not out of some kind of survivor’s guilt, and not out of some holier-than-thou altruism, but simply because you deserve it and I’ve been down here before, and I know the way out.

¹The West Wing “Noel”, dir. Thomas Schlamme, writ. Aaron Sorkin, perf. John Spencer, DVD, Warner Bros., 2000.

 Disclaimer

The views expressed on Plenty For All are purely the opinions of Brian J. Audette and are not at all affiliated with, representative of, endorsed or supported by BioWare, EA, it's shareholders, partners, or subsidiaries.

This One Time at Bandcamp.com: Markov

Continuing our journey through my recent bandcamp.com discoveries we have:

This Quiet by Markov
Bandcamp: markov.bandcamp.com
Twitter: @thisismarkov

This was another album that I really dug after finding it on Bandcamp. With tags invoking the likes of Hot Snakes and Refused the bar was set pretty high, but in the end Markov deliver an album worthy of worshiping at the feet of those hardcore gods. To put it plainly, Markov's "This Quiet" is an exercise in the application of raw energy to audio. Clever vocals complement well-crafted songs and tight playing as Markov explore a variable sonic landscape, clearly not satisfied with belaboring the same riffs and rhythms over and over. Songs like "Lucky Me" accentuate the loud-quiet fury of influences like the aforementioned Refused while "Jaws of Life" and "Debaters" recall the undulating rhythm of Hot Snakes and Drive Like Jehu. For all the pride and skill with which Markov pay tribute to their sonic patrons they do plenty on this album to develop their own sound and it never comes off sounding like mimicry, instead what you get on This Quiet is a whirlwind blend of razor sharp riffs and tight compositions hurtling around like a kid in a circle pit. When all is said and done This Quiet is an energetic, aggressive, and anthemic album with plenty to reward repeated listening. I'll be looking forward to more from Markov if at all possible.

Next: Edge of Collapse by Bad Chapters

This One Time At Bandcamp.com: Zlam Dunk

A couple weeks ago I posted about how I had decided to search bandcamp.com in order to discover some local Austin punk bands. You see, while I love all kinds of music, if you were to ask me what kind of music is my favorite I would say punk. What does "punk" mean though? To many, that is a loaded question and the answer really varies from person to person. For some "punk" is something that happened in the 70's when bands like The Ramones, The Clash, and The Sex Pistols railed against the excesses of 70's rock, disco, prog, and glam, and produced a stripped down, hard-edged, uncompromising soundtrack for those unsatisfied with the status quo. For others "punk" is something that doesn't even take hold until the 80's with bands like Bad Religion, the Dead Milkmen, and the Descendents coming onto the scene. For others still "punk" refers almost exclusively to hardcore punk, a louder, more aggressive form of music pioneered by the likes of Bad Brains, Black Flag, and Minor Threat. There a people who think garage bands are punk, that Green Day is punk, that emo music is punk, and that the 80's "New Wave" was punk. They're all right. They're all wrong. Fuck it! Who cares?

While it may be impossible to define whether something is punk or not punk, depending on who you talk to, I know what I consider to be punk. My personal preferences lean distinctively towards the hardcore branch of the punk family tree and encompass many of its offshoots. Since moving here and before beginning my search on Bandcamp, a number of Austin and Texas punk bands had been brought to my attention. These bands were actually a major impetus in my search as there seemed to be a common thread running between all of them: a certain garage rock like style and presentation. You can hear it in bands like The Marked Men and Bad Sports, that lo-fi garage-rock/protopunk sound that recalls punk music from the early days of the 70's. While certainly not bad, it wasn't what I was looking for and after hearing so much in that vein, I began to wonder if there was any punk music being produced in Austin that had a bit more of a hardcore bent or at least didn't ascribe to the extreme lo-fi aesthetic that seemed to be so prominent.

It didn't take me long on Bandcamp to find several bands that fit the bill for me in various ways and now, after having spent a couple weeks with these albums I'd like to give you my thoughts:

Noble Ancestry by Zlam Dunk
Bandcamp: zlamdunk.bandcamp.com
Twitter: @Zlam_Dunk

Of my recently acquired albums, this is probably my favorite. Noble Ancestry turned out to be exactly the kind of music I love: something different, but still somewhat familiar. Zlam Dunk play a tight, relentless brand of post-hardcore that's as technically impressive as it is danceable. While the album leads off with the anthemic "Vice" the tempo quickly shifts into territory that can only be described as dance music for hardcore kids. With the one-two punch of "Tomorrow in Twenty-Million Years" and "Midnight Runners" - a duo of songs whose driving beats, frenetic picking, and scorching synth practically beg you to move your body - Zlam Dunk recall for me the later works of DC's Q and Not U albeit with a bit more of an edge a la At the Drive-In and Fugazi or even Athens Georgia's Cinemechanica. When all is said and done Noble Ancestry is a well rounded experience with a lot of talent, power, and creativity on display. The band's next release, "Balcones", is due out on May 3rd.

Next: This Quiet by Markov ...

Adventure. Survival. Horror.

I've been in a gaming rut for a few weeks now and today it seems that it may have subsided. A little over a month ago I finished Mass Effect 3, my thoughts on which are detailed elsewhere on this site. Since my ME3 play through had come hot on the heels of my second ME2 play through, I was a little burned out on the choice-centric RPG thing and looking for something a bit different and ideally as non-action as I could find.

The first stop on my post ME3 journey was "To The Moon", an adventure game in the style of a 16-bit RPG. Many months earlier when this game had first caught everyone's attention I had made a note to check it out. As a game designer and a lover of narratives in any form, I have a vested interest in the execution of narrative in video games. When a game like To The Moon comes along and people claim it to be an incredibly moving experience, that's something I need to see. Skeptical as I was, To The Moon did actually deliver an authentically moving experience. All told however, much of what transpired in ME3 moved me more, but seeing as how it was the culmination of 3 games worth of decisions and character building/bonding, that's not surprising.

The second game I checked out was "Dear Esther", a game that's probably most accurately described as an interactive narrative, seeing as you don't ever really interact with anything. Dear Esther was a short, but interesting experiment. I thought they accomplished the challenge of setting and maintaining a mood fairly well, although I felt some further player interaction may have allowed them to hook me into the story in a more profound way.

Truth be told, Dear Esther was merely a decoy, a pit stop, a training exercise. I had decided it was finally time to jump back into "Amnesia: The Dark Descent", a game I had purchased over a year earlier, but hadn't been able to muster the courage to play for more than half an hour. Amnesia manages to mix classic adventure game play, with the first person view point, and survival horror in a most brilliant way. As a man trapped in a mysterious castle in the late 1800's you must unravel the mystery surrounding your lost memory and a diabolical horror that appears to be chasing after you, all without being able to defend yourself against enemies. If Doom is a First Person Shooter and Thief was a First Person Sneaker, then Amnesia is a First Person Hider. In the rare instances that you do come face to face with some other-worldly horror, you have but one recourse in the world of Amnesia: run and hide. If you're lucky then you'll be able to stay hidden long enough for your foe to lose interest and not lose too much sanity along the way. All told, I thought Amnesia was excellent. The only criticism I have (which is typical of horror games) is that by the end of the game, I had figured out all of their tricks. I always knew that certain sounds and events wouldn't result in something I needed to hide from, but based on the developer's (Frictional Games) recent comments about the next game in the series, this seems to be something they seek to address.

Amnesia was great, but short and it left me wanting more. I decided to visit Frictional Games' earlier works: the "Penumbra" series. While one can certainly see in Amnesia the lessons they learned in making Penumbra, the games still hold up as very entertaining. With a more modern setting, no sanity meter, and the limited ability to fight back against certain foes, the Penumbra games were a little less atmospheric than Amnesia, but they made up for it by being much closer the a classic point-and-click adventure game in execution. Really my only gripe about the Penumbra series was that I expected a trilogy when I bought the games, but the third installment is actually a puzzle game in the vein of Portal and while it does advance the story, I was ultimately unsatisfied by the differences.

I had been left unfulfilled by the third Penumbra installment, yet I still craved an adventure/survival horror experience. After perusing several options, I decided to check out "Alan Wake", a game that I had skipped on the consoles, but that had recently been released for the PC. I don't want to say much about the game since I haven't finished it, but the parts that I have played really aren't that satisfying as far as horror goes. As with a lot of console games, Alan Wake telegraphs it's moves far too often and its insistence of taking away control of my camera and throwing me into pre-rendered cinematics as a means of immersing me in the story, has the exact opposite effect. All told, I wasn't satisfied by Alan Wake. This was not the game I was looking for and while I will revisit it, I don't have any desire to continue with it now.

All this led me to the point where there was simply nothing I wanted to play. I would fire up random games I had installed on Steam to see if I was interested in playing them, but nothing stuck. I even re-installed Myst IV, thinking that what I needed was a classic adventure game and remembering that I had never finished that game nor played it's sequel, the final in the series. Sadly Myst IV was not what I was looking for either and so I (a devout gamer ... even before it became my career) was at a loss, until today.

While I was playing Amnesia and Penumbra I had gotten the idea in the back of my head that when I was done, I needed to go back and finish "Dead Space 2". The original Dead Space was easily one of my favorite games in the year it was released, however I never got more than a couple hours into Dead Space 2 after it came out. I knew it wasn't any fault of the game itself and with my renewed interest in horror games it seemed the perfect time to revisit that world. When the third Penumbra game fell flat for me, I didn't really think that I had the heart to jump into Dead Space 2 and so I went looking for a bridge in Alan Wake. Apparently I was wrong in that decision however because today I loaded Dead Space 2 into the 360 and where every other game has failed me recently, this has succeeded.

I don't know if Dead Space 2 will finally give me closure on my adventure/horror game excursion, but it's nice to have a really good feeling about completing a game that you've let sit around for a while. I've got a PS3 on order that should be arriving later this week, so maybe I'll jump straight from Dead Space to Uncharted or the Ico/Shadow of the Colossus HD bundle. Either way it seems my brief drought of gaming has come to an end. Now if you'll excuse me, I have necromorphs to kill.

I Am So Lazy

You know, it's not that I haven't had anything to write about here, it's more that I'm lazy and also for seemingly no reason at all the last couple of weeks have gone by at an alarming rate. I've got music and game development stuff to comment on though and as soon as I catch up with the break-neck pace of time, it'll end up here. Soon. I promise.

This Wouldn't Have Happened if I had Google Glasses

Think of one of your all-time favorite bands, the kind of band that helped shape your musical tastes ... the kind of band that helped define a generation within it's genre. Now let's say that this is a band that has been broken up for years and let's say you never got a chance to see them live, because you didn't really start listening to them until right when they were calling it quits. Now imagine that this band recently decided to tour again and you just happen to live in their home state. Imagine that since this announcement they haven't published any home state show dates. Imagine that when they finally do post home state show dates, it's in a city 6 hours away and you missed the window to buy anyway. Imagine that several days later they announce a last minute show in your city at a small venue ... the kind of place they are NOT likely to play ever again. Imagine that had you been monitoring your email or twitter, you would have known about and had a chance to see this show. Imagine that you were doing other things instead.

This is what just happened to me with At The Drive-In. I've spent the last several months complaining that since announcing their reunion tour they haven't planned any TX shows ... their home state. Then earlier this week they announced a show in Marfa, much too far away for me to go see them and I missed the small window of opportunity to get tickets anyway. Now this afternoon at 1:05pm they announce a show for this Monday at Red 7, a small punk venue in Austin and I missed it because I was playing video games.

Now to be fair, chances are that I would have missed it regardless of what I was doing. Unless I'm at work, I'm rarely sitting in front of my computer and constantly hooked into email or Twitter updates. There was still a chance though, that had I not been otherwise occupied, I would have caught this announcement and I would have gotten a ticket to what is likely to be the most intimate show ATDI will do on this tour and that I have access to.

I know I'll get to see them at some point during this tour - if they don't do ACL or FunFunFun Fest then I'd be incredibly surprised - but it would have been amazing to see them at a small show with a bunch of die hard fans like myself. The funny thing about this is that earlier this week there was a lot of sarcasm directed toward the "Google Glasses" video, but honestly ... if I had me some Google Glasses, this would have never happened.

This One Time At Bandcamp.com

I always have to call bullshit on people who claim that they'd listen to more non-mainstream music if it were more accessible. There's great music everywhere if you just take a few minutes to look for it. For instance: spring is here and as is usually the case I'm in the mood for punk music. I decided that instead of my usual sources, I wanted to see what local punk bands I could find. I enjoy supporting local bands because:

1. It's just easier to see local bands live more often.
2. I live in a city with TONS of them, so the variety is fantastic.
3. Local bands don't really make money off their music, they play because they love it (and maybe they hope to someday make money off it) and to me that reflects in the sound.
4. Supporting one's own community has always struck me as both decidedly "Punk" and somewhat "Socialist", which are both things I personally identify with.

So to make good on my local punk search all I did was Google the following: "austin punk site:bandcamp.com". That's it! I've already discovered 5 new bands. Now don't get me wrong, there were just as misses as hits in my search, but in those cases I listen to a track or two and then move on. My point is that it's not hard to find new music if a) you know vaguely what to search for and b) you're willing to spend a little time. So get out there and support your local scene ... support all the local scenes and don't just listen to the music that's handed to you, find the music that speaks to you.

---UPDATE---

Maybe I should post links to the stuff I just discovered ... duh!