Saturday, February 13, 2010
I'm a Horrible Person
This bugs the shit out of me. Sites like eHarmony and Chemistry that allow people to withhold showing their picture to potential matches until later in their guided matching process. I mean seriously, what are you saying to someone else when you withhold your picture? When I see profiles like this I immediately reject them for one of two reasons. 1. I assume that the person thinks they are not attractive and don't want to ward off any potential matches early on or 2. the person thinks they are too attractive and don't want that to be a factor for their matches to consider. In the first case there are self-esteem issues I simply don't want to deal with. Sorry, I've been in that relationship and it's not fun. In the second case the level of conceit on display is an immediate turn off. In either case, the first thing you're telling me about yourself is that you've got issues, specifically issues that I don't want to deal with. I don't know, maybe I should be grateful.
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Just think of it as a filter, and don't consider anyone whose profile doesn't have a picture. The other thing I'd suggest with intarwebs dating -- if you think you feel chemistry online, meet face to face, asap. Nothing's more frustrating than spending a couple of weeks getting to know someone virtually, only to discover in the first five minutes of a date that there's no spark between you. (I met my wife on Match.com, 12 years ago, btw!)
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you guys met online. Well that's reassuring. But yeah, I've become an expert at internet dating over the last few years. I'm testing the waters of Chemistry.com again, but I haven't committed to a paid account yet. It's things like the people who withhold their pictures that bug me. With a site like Chemistry you only get so many matches thrown at you a day and when half or more are either ones without pictures or the ones that are withholding them it's a huge waste of time and ultimately money.
ReplyDeleteThe closest I've ever come to internet dating was running a BBS in the 90s... being a sysop and able to yank users into live chat (pretty much an unknown at that time) was handy. I startled more than one female user that way, but mine was a board mostly shared among friends, so it was more the equivilant of sneaking up behind folks in the hallway.
ReplyDeleteI dated a number of girls I met that way, and it worked pretty well over all (except if they lied about their age when they made their account, ugh).
I guess it comes down to what you want, and if you want pics in profiles that seems reasonable to me. It might be amusing to copy and paste this post (or link it) to any pictureless hits and see what the result is. :)